When I first began reading Psalm 119, I wanted to stop almost as soon as I started. I could not relate to the Psalmist and did not know how I would change. I had little hope that simply reading when I felt so disconnected from the words on the page would be helpful.Psalm 119 begins like this:
Psalm 119 begins like this:
[1] Blessed are those whose way is blameless,
who walk in the law of the LORD!
[2] Blessed are those who keep his testimonies,
who seek him with their whole heart,
[3] who also do no wrong,
but walk in his ways!
[4] You have commanded your precepts
to be kept diligently.
[5] Oh that my ways may be steadfast
in keeping your statutes!
[6] Then I shall not be put to shame,
having my eyes fixed on all your commandments.
[7] I will praise you with an upright heart,
when I learn your righteous rules.
[8] I will keep your statutes;
do not utterly forsake me!
The first eight verses describe those who see God’s law rightly and lives in proper response to it—they are blessed, their ways are blameless. We also see what God expects of us—that his precepts be kept diligently. And when the men and women are steadfast in keeping God’s statutes they will not be put to shame; they will praise God with an upright heart. This stanza then closes with a plea that may seem a little out of place: “I will keep your statutes; do not utterly forsake me!”. The desperation expressed here feels like a turn from the opening exultant verses, but this is actually a signal to a clear message that emerges throughout the rest of the Psalm and would later become clear to me: we have a responsibility to treasure and practice God’s precepts, but this would be meaningless and impossible without God’s presence.
The second stanza continues like this:
[9] How can a young man keep his way pure?
By guarding it according to your word.
[10] With my whole heart I seek you;
let me not wander from your commandments!
[11] I have stored up your word in my heart,
that I might not sin against you.
[12] Blessed are you, O LORD;
teach me your statutes!
[13] With my lips I declare
all the rules of your mouth.
[14] In the way of your testimonies I delight
as much as in all riches.
[15] I will meditate on your precepts
and fix my eyes on your ways.
[16] I will delight in your statutes;
I will not forget your word.
At this point, I started to read the Psalm through a particular lens that was Psalmist-centric, like this:
[9] How can a young man keep his way pure?
By guarding it according to your word.
[10] With my whole heart I seek you;
let me not wander from your commandments!
[11] I have stored up your word in my heart,
that I might not sin against you.
[12] Blessed are you, O LORD;
teach me your statutes!
[13] With my lips I declare
all the rules of your mouth.
[14] In the way of your testimonies I delight
as much as in all riches.
[15] I will meditate on your precepts
and fix my eyes on your ways.
[16] I will delight in your statutes;
I will not forget your word.
Like a rock skipping across a pond, my heart smacked upon the phrases in bold and rebounded such that it entirely missed the lines in between. I read these lines as an indictment and rebuke from a master Christian rather than a call to join a fellow disciple in worship. This set the tone for how I would continue reading the rest of Psalm.
“My soul is consumed with longing for your rules” (verse 20)
“Your testimonies are my delight” (verse 24)
“I find my delight in your commandments, which I love” (verse 47)
These verses brought no comfort to me, only condemnation. I could not honestly echo the Psalmist here, and I doubted I would find any consolation in Psalm 119.
When you flood a plant’s bone-dry soil with water, it takes time for it to soak in. The water spills at out of the pot, its full measure is rejected, not reaching the roots. Do we conclude then that water was not what the plant actually needed? Of course not. So, while the full meaning and true call of Psalm 119 was lost on me at first, the first flood of these verses softened my soul just enough to receive a bit more with the next flood, and the next, and the next.
As my heart started to soften, and my mind engaged more sincerely with the text, I saw almost a total inversion of my first interpretation of the Psalm. Instead of the Psalmist boasting in his righteous delight of the law, there is earnest and desperate pleading, and rapturous thanksgiving to the God who has given this law. The essence of verse 8 “do not utterly forsake me!” is repeated over and over through different pleas to the Lord. The affirmations of verses 9 through 16 are responses to what God has done in the heart and mind of the Psalmist. In the 176 verses of Psalm 119, 57 of these verses contain pleas to God:
“let me not wander from your commands” (verse 10)
“open my eyes” (verse 18)
“teach me good judgment and knowledge” (verse 66)
“keep my steps steady according to your promise” (verse 133)
“seek your servant” (verse 176)
The most common of these pleas are for God to teach the Psalmist (9 verses); for God to “give [him] understanding” or make him understand (6 verses); and for God to give him life (7 verses). The need for God to teach, enlighten, and shape the heart and mind is clear in every stanza. The relationship between the Psalmist’s love of the law and God’s role in cultivating this love is most clearly shown in verses like these:
“I will run in the way of your commandments when you enlarge my heart!”(verse 32)
“Give me understanding, that I may keep your law and observe it with my whole heart” (verse 34)
“Incline my heart to your testimonies, and not to selfish gain!” (verse 36)
“My lips will pour forth praise, for you teach me your statute.” (verse 171)
The Psalmist’s love for God’s word comes through the same, and only, means through which we are ever able to love God, by his grace through faith. It is God’s action that changes our hearts, and we trust this for salvation:
In this is love, not that we have loved God but that he loved us and sent his Son to be the propitiation for our sins. (1 John 4:10)
For while we were still weak, at the right time Christ died for the ungodly. (Romans 5:6)
Likewise, Psalm 119 teaches that it is God who teaches us to learn and love his word. He does this through guarding and keeping us (verse 10); enlarging our hearts (verse 32); through affliction (verses 67, 71, 75); and through others who love God (verse 79).
And as God teaches us to love and follow his word, we know there is so much more happening than simply understanding ideas. Is it just by chance that the phrases “give me understanding” and “give me life” appear so often with such similar resound? No. In fact verse 144 makes the connection perfectly clear—“give me understanding that I may live!” Understanding of what? Again, there is no room for doubt. The Psalmist has begged repeatedly for understanding of the law, statutes, precepts—the very words of God himself. For the words of God are not like the words of men and women. We are who we are, and say what we say, and these may have little to do with each other. Our words cannot be trusted to consistently portray our identities or intents. This is not so with God. His words are in perfect alignment with his character and his will. “You are good and you do good” we read in verse 68, to which the Psalmist cries “teach me your statutes”.
As these truths sink in, we should take heart at the fact that God is active and able to change us and our emotions, even if our hearts do not yet respond. And yet this is not an excuse to do nothing but wait for our feelings to change. It is an invitation to yearn in the presence of God, to confess the distorted desires that keep us distant, and to humbly yet boldly plead for Him to do what we cannot—to change us. It is beautiful to me that in this psalm, the writer cries out “Consider how I love your precepts!” and in the next breath then asks God to “Give me life according to your steadfast love” (verse 159). We are called to love God, and so love his word. To be sure, he is worthy of all our love. But thank God that when he gives us life, he does so according to his love and not ours. In this we again see the grace of the gospel.
In considering spiritual disciplines, our understanding of grace should remind us that the act of reading scripture is not what changes us in and of itself. Consistently reading the word (or practicing any spritual discipline) does not earn life, but positions us to be watered by the grace of God bought for us in Christ. John Piper helps to explain this: “God has given us [the spiritual disciplines as a] means of grace. If we do not use them to their fullest advantage, our complaints against him will not stick. If we don’t eat, we starve. If we don’t drink, we get dehydrated. If we don’t exercise a muscle, it atrophies. If we don’t breathe, we suffocate. Just as there are physical means of life, there spiritual are means of grace.”[1]
Whether or not considering these truths causes your emotions to react in this moment or in the next week or in the next month, I would encourage you to engage anyway. Read the Bible knowing that God does not shun us when we are cold, but that he invites us to come and listen to him speak that our hearts would thaw. When you are surrounded by others who seem to effortlessly love scripture, resist the urge to envy their ease and know that you are welcome to plead with God and ask others to plead on your behalf. When you trust God to become a Christian, but are later tempted to trust your own efforts to be a good Christian, know that this is not the gospel. Jesus, the Word made flesh, is the founder and perfecter of our faith. As we trust him for salvation, we trust that through him we too will delight in word of the Lord.
[1] John Piper, “Put in the Fire for the Sake of Prayer,” December 28, 2008.