In talking about forgiveness we cant help but think about what often comes before forgiveness…”intense moments of fellowship” or what we might otherwise call fights/arguments, etc.

In Ephesians 4.15 we see Paul instruct the church in Ephesus in “speaking the truth in love we are to grow up into him who is our head, into Christ”. This verse provides a good model on how to discuss matters of sensitivity that may otherwise lead to anger that is coupled with sin.

Speaking the Truth Without Love:

Oftentimes when we confront a loved one about something they have done wrong we can justify our volatility by the truthfulness of how they sinned against us. However, Paul here instructs us that truth without love is not growing up into Christ, and therefore it grows apart from Him.

Christ did not bludgeon us with the truth of our sin, but He coupled it with tenderness and kindheartedness as well as patience. Therefore, when we speak truth to those we love, we must do so with love, doing otherwise is not in keeping with Christ

Loving without speaking the Truth:

Loving without speaking the Truth is of the realm of sentimentality and it does not grow up into Him who is our head. Indeed, you do not love unless you speak the truth.

Building healthy relationships that do not discuss the Truth of our relationships, both the good and bad betray the nature of Love. Christ loved us by speaking the truth to us. Therefore, if you do not speak the truth, you do not love.

In short, then, growing up into Him who is our head demands that when we are sinned against, we speak the truth in love to one another in keeping with how Christ spoke/dealt with us. To do otherwise is to deny the Gospel.